EK CUP CHAI

Being born in India is sometimes more than helpful.

1. The great family:  I have to do nothing till I’m 25! My family will feed me, even though they sometime will curse me. Of course, not to mention, they will get me married to a sweet looking girl to change me!

2.The School: Ah School! I love it! From age 3 (or 4) to next 12-16 years, my school is my greatest asset. I’ll be cut off from the practicalities of life. I will be ‘told’ that there is only one or two ways of solving math! I will be told that competition and ranks are the most important part of life!

3. Voting:  No matter who I’m! No matter what I’m! As long as I’m mentally fit I can vote. Yeah I can vote for a packet of liquor, for some money or for simply timepass. More importantly, I can simply avoid voting!

4. The great family – 2 : My wife. She will not only get me loads of dowry, but also will make sure that she cooks for me, washes my clothes (including my underwear). When necessary she will also give her mangalsutra for my ‘drinks’!

5. The taxing system: If I don’t do any work, I will not be taxed. Also if I don’t work I can also warn the government (which I voted, not voted ) that I will go on hunger strike, raasta rokho whatever! And when I work, I will be taxed. So what is the government telling me? I know! You see no wonder I will need loads of money my wife brings me

6. Movies, Media, Cricket, Parliament and other Entertainment: Aha! My favorites! By doing nothing (to skip taxes) one sometimes gets bored. So what can one do. Watch TV, or escapist Cinema (Shahrukh Khan running behind Kajol near Egypt Pyramids) or simply see cricket!

7. Great Culture, Religions and Tradition: Aha! As a ‘man’ whatever I do is fine (As long as I keep the ‘main’ people satisfied). All the religions, cultures and tradition are behind me. I can give morality lessons – woman should be careful about their dress! Woman should cook food and keep home clean!

I can build temples and mosques anywhere on the road. I can create great ‘noise’ by having speakers attached to them. All this only in the name of Religion and Tradition.

8. Great Past and Great Future: India was a great land (2000 years ago) and India will be superpower (when…?) And in between I can do whatever I want. I can dream about the future and I can shit about past! I will easily forget what the past stood for, as much easily that I can only do nothing but dream!

So all in all India is a great place to be! There will be few people who will try to change this society. But you see we should be aware of them. If they say non-violence we should shoot them, if they say build companies, we should have these companies follow the great Indian reservation system! These people should be called the enemies of India.